In the early part of the 19th century, dream interpretation had fallen out of fashion, and almost no one practiced this art seriously. In the early part of the century, dreams were thought to have no meaning at all, and to be simply the result of a heavy meal before bedtime, noises heard in the night and other trivial causes.
By the latter part of the 19th century, however, Sigmund Freud would revolutionize the world of dreams and dream interpretation with his radical new ideas incorporating dreams and deep seated childhood fears.
Born in 1865, Sigmund Freud revolutionized the world of psychiatry and dream interpretation with his seminal work “The Interpretation of Dreams”. Freud started to analyze the dreams of his patients, and he used this dream analysis to diagnose and treat their psychiatric ills.
Freud also studied dreams as a way to understand certain aspects of the personality, especially those aspects that lead to psychological problems and disorders. Freud believed that nothing human beings did happened by chance, and that every action, no matter how small or seemingly trivial, was at some level motivated by the unconscious mind.
Of course in order for a civilized, modern society to function, certain primal needs and desires must be repressed, and Freud’s theory was that these repressed urges and desires were released by the unconscious during dream sleep.
Doctor Freud saw dreams as a direct connection to the unconscious mind, and he studied that connection through the interpretation of symbolic objects found in dreams. The theory was that with the conscious mind acts as a guard on the unconscious, preventing certain repressed feelings from coming to the surface. During sleep, however, this conscious guard is absent, and the subconscious mind is free to run wild and express its most hidden desires.
Freud was especially interested in the sexual content of dreams, and he often saw ordinary objects in dreams as representations of sexual desire. To Freud, every long, slender item encountered in a dream, from a knife to a flagpole, was a phallic image, while any receptacle such as a bowl or vase, represented the female genitalia.
Freud believed in five stages of personality, and he saw dreams as manifestations of desired stemming from each of these five stages. To Freud, personality formation consisted of:
Stage One – Oral/Dependency
Freud’s theory was that any needs not satisfied during the oral/dependency stage would cause the person to go through life trying to meet them. Thus, to Freud, habits such as overeating, drinking to much and smoking were all oral fixations. People suffering from these oral fixations often dreamed about their unmet needs and desires.
Stage Two – Anal/Potty Training
Freud held that improper potty training could traumatize a child, and cause him or her to become anal retentive, rigid and controlling. Such traumatized children often develop obsessive compulsive disorders as well. Recurring dreams of being out of control, such as dreams of falling were common in such people.
Stage Three – Phallic
According to Freud, the personality is completely developed by the time stage three rolls around. The third stage of personality is identified with the Oedipus and Electra complexes. The Oedipus complex represents the love a male child feels toward the mother, coupled with fear and jealousy of the male parent. The Electra complex is the female version of Oedipus, in which the female child feels anger toward the mother and develops “penis envy”.
Stage Four – Latency
Unlike the other stages, the latency period is a time of relative calm. During this stage, the aggression and sexual urges are less intense, and little psychosexual conflict is exhibited.
Stage Five – Genital
This is the period of sexual maturity and the creation and enhancement of life. The stage of sexual maturity is where reproduction, intellectual activity and artistic pursuits take place.
Freud believed that wish fulfillment was the source of dreams, and that dreamers used dreams as a way to satisfy the fixations they had developed during childhood. In addition, issues like power and control frequently manifested themselves in dreams. The central part of Freud’s dream theory was that thoughts and desires repressed during the day were free to run wild during the dream stage.
Since Freud’s death, many have criticized him for seeing sexual motivation behind every dream object. Many have pointed out that Freud was born into the sexually repressed Victorian era, and his preoccupation with sexual matters could have been as much a product of the times in which he lived as a valid scientific theory. Even so, many of Freud’s dream interpretations have proven valid and are still used by psychologists and dream researchers today.
By Russ Lie
Monday, May 21, 2007
Dream Interpretation and Types of Dreams
Dream researchers have discovered several distinct categories of dreams, and these dream categories can be very useful both to people attempting to interpret their own dreams and to professional psychologist and therapists striving to interpret the dreams of others. This article will discuss these categories of dreams.
1. The Daydream
While not technically a dream, since it takes place while we are awake, researchers are looking into just where the daydream fits on the spectrum of dreaming, and what it can teach us about more traditional dreams.
It is estimated that most people spend between 70 and 120 minutes each day engaged in daydreaming. Daydreaming is thought to be a level of consciousness below that of a normal waking state but above that of sleep. Daydreaming falls about midway between these two extremes.
During a daydream, we allow our imaginations to take us away from the mundane tasks of the day. As the mind is allowed to wander and conscious awareness is reduced, we can become lost in the fantasy or imaginary scenario.
2. The Lucid Dream
Lucid dreams are among the most fascinating subjects in all of dream research. Lucid dreaming takes place when the dreamer realizes that he or she is dreaming while still immersed in the dream. Lucid dreaming occurs in that moment when you tell yourself – “This is only a dream”.
The occurrence of lucid dreams varies widely from person to person, with some people reporting never having lucid dreams and others reporting almost 100% lucid dreams.
While most dreamers wake up when they realize that they are in a dream, other people are able to develop the ability to remain in the dream and take control of it. These people are able to become an active participant in their dreams, and to take the dream narrative where they want it to go. These people experience some of the most enjoyable and interesting dreams.
3. The Nightmare
Many people are troubled by frightening and disturbing dreams, commonly known as nightmares. Young children in particular often suffer from nightmares brought on by fears of monsters in their closets and under the bed, as well as other types of fear.
Of course nightmares are not confined to childhood, and many adults, particularly those who have suffered real life trauma, are particularly susceptible to nightmares. Those people suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as soldiers returning from war, and rescue workers who have been through harrowing situations, report a higher incidence of nightmares than the public at large.
Many people who suffer from frequent nightmares report a history of real life problems, including psychiatric problems, problems with drugs or alcohol, or problems with family relationships. Treatment for frequent nightmares should therefore be aimed at dealing with the initial trauma or traumas that created the situation in the first place.
4. The Recurring Dream
Most people have had a recurring dream at one point in their life, a dream that repeats itself, with minor variations or even none at all. Recurring dreams can be about any subject, and they focus on that subject night after night.
Some recurring dreams are positive and uplifting, but studies show the majority of recurring dreams to be negative in nature. Dreams can recur in this manner because the real life event that triggered it has remained unresolved. Dealing with the real life trauma responsible for recurring nightmares is often the best way to banish the bad dream.
Some dreamers report experiencing narrative dreams, in which the dream picks up where it left off night after night. These dreams are somewhat rare, but the people who experience them report them to be very vivid and memorable. Keeping a dream journal can be a big help in both remembering and interpreting these kinds of dreams.
5. The Healing Dream
Healing dreams are often seen as sending a message to the dreamer regarding his or her health. Healing dreams often spur the dreamer to take a long delayed trip to the dentist or doctor.
6. The Prophetic Dream
Prophetic dreams are also known as precognitive dreams, and the people experiencing these dreams often report the ability to use them to foretell the future. Independent studies of these types of dreams are rare, and the jury remains out on whether this ability to see the future exists.
One non supernatural explanation for the prophetic dream is that the subconscious mind pieces together bits of information encountered throughout the day, then puts them together in a form that makes sense to the dreamer.
7. The Epic Dreams
Epic dreams are somewhat rare, but they are unforgettable to those who experience them. Epic dreams are so vivid, and so compelling that they simply cannot be ignored. The tiniest details of these dreams are often remembered for many years. These epic dreams may possess lots of symbols and meaning for the dreamer.
By Russ Lie
1. The Daydream
While not technically a dream, since it takes place while we are awake, researchers are looking into just where the daydream fits on the spectrum of dreaming, and what it can teach us about more traditional dreams.
It is estimated that most people spend between 70 and 120 minutes each day engaged in daydreaming. Daydreaming is thought to be a level of consciousness below that of a normal waking state but above that of sleep. Daydreaming falls about midway between these two extremes.
During a daydream, we allow our imaginations to take us away from the mundane tasks of the day. As the mind is allowed to wander and conscious awareness is reduced, we can become lost in the fantasy or imaginary scenario.
2. The Lucid Dream
Lucid dreams are among the most fascinating subjects in all of dream research. Lucid dreaming takes place when the dreamer realizes that he or she is dreaming while still immersed in the dream. Lucid dreaming occurs in that moment when you tell yourself – “This is only a dream”.
The occurrence of lucid dreams varies widely from person to person, with some people reporting never having lucid dreams and others reporting almost 100% lucid dreams.
While most dreamers wake up when they realize that they are in a dream, other people are able to develop the ability to remain in the dream and take control of it. These people are able to become an active participant in their dreams, and to take the dream narrative where they want it to go. These people experience some of the most enjoyable and interesting dreams.
3. The Nightmare
Many people are troubled by frightening and disturbing dreams, commonly known as nightmares. Young children in particular often suffer from nightmares brought on by fears of monsters in their closets and under the bed, as well as other types of fear.
Of course nightmares are not confined to childhood, and many adults, particularly those who have suffered real life trauma, are particularly susceptible to nightmares. Those people suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as soldiers returning from war, and rescue workers who have been through harrowing situations, report a higher incidence of nightmares than the public at large.
Many people who suffer from frequent nightmares report a history of real life problems, including psychiatric problems, problems with drugs or alcohol, or problems with family relationships. Treatment for frequent nightmares should therefore be aimed at dealing with the initial trauma or traumas that created the situation in the first place.
4. The Recurring Dream
Most people have had a recurring dream at one point in their life, a dream that repeats itself, with minor variations or even none at all. Recurring dreams can be about any subject, and they focus on that subject night after night.
Some recurring dreams are positive and uplifting, but studies show the majority of recurring dreams to be negative in nature. Dreams can recur in this manner because the real life event that triggered it has remained unresolved. Dealing with the real life trauma responsible for recurring nightmares is often the best way to banish the bad dream.
Some dreamers report experiencing narrative dreams, in which the dream picks up where it left off night after night. These dreams are somewhat rare, but the people who experience them report them to be very vivid and memorable. Keeping a dream journal can be a big help in both remembering and interpreting these kinds of dreams.
5. The Healing Dream
Healing dreams are often seen as sending a message to the dreamer regarding his or her health. Healing dreams often spur the dreamer to take a long delayed trip to the dentist or doctor.
6. The Prophetic Dream
Prophetic dreams are also known as precognitive dreams, and the people experiencing these dreams often report the ability to use them to foretell the future. Independent studies of these types of dreams are rare, and the jury remains out on whether this ability to see the future exists.
One non supernatural explanation for the prophetic dream is that the subconscious mind pieces together bits of information encountered throughout the day, then puts them together in a form that makes sense to the dreamer.
7. The Epic Dreams
Epic dreams are somewhat rare, but they are unforgettable to those who experience them. Epic dreams are so vivid, and so compelling that they simply cannot be ignored. The tiniest details of these dreams are often remembered for many years. These epic dreams may possess lots of symbols and meaning for the dreamer.
By Russ Lie
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Archetypal Symbols In Dreams
Archetypes are among the most powerful and most significant of all items found in dreams, and they are of great interest to dream interpreters and to dream researchers and scientists alike. At its simplest, an archetype is a prototype, or an original copy, of any object or experience. An archetype can also refer to the prefect example of an object – the object by which all others are judged.
This article will examine several important prototypes encountered in dream interpretation. The first of these archetypes is the animus.
The animus is a term used by psychologist Carl Jung to represent the masculine side of the female. Jung felt that women possessed a unconscious masculine imprint, and he called this imprint the animus.
Women become familiar with the nature of the animus through a constant questioning of ideas and opinions, and of gender roles and identity. When coming to terms with her masculine side, the woman learns to criticize her opinions and hold them at a distance. This does not mean repressing those opinions; it simply means investigating where they come from, and delving more deeply into their background.
Dream interpretation can often be a big help in discovering the masculine side of a woman, and the woman who dreams of being a man is often exploring her masculine nature.
According to Jung, women go through four stages of development when exploring and discovering their animus. In stage one, he animus may appear in dreams, and he may represent the ultimate embodiment of physical power. Thus the animus may appear as an athlete, a highly muscular man, or even as a criminal or thug.
In stage two, the animus gives the woman the initiative and the ability to take action. Women in this stage are often ready to take on careers and lives of their own, apart from their family and other role models.
In stage three of the development process, the animus may be seen in dreams as a clergyman, professor or other authority figure. During this stage, the animus represents knowledge and wisdom.
In the final stage, the animus comes to represent spirituality and deeper meaning. During this stage, the animus moves back and forth between the conscious and unconscious mind, still appearing frequently in dreams but appearing in the waking world as well.
The other popular dream archetype is the Mandela. A Mandela can be either a complex or a simple geometric design or pattern, usually in the form of a circle. Mandelas are frequently seen in Native American ceremonies, and they make up a big part of the religious experiences of many Native American and indigenous peoples around the world.
The Mandela also figures prominently in Eastern religions, and it is used to represent the universe in both the Hindu and Buddhist traditions. In Jungian philosophy the Mandela is the symbol for the self. The Mandela is also used to symbolize the circle of life, completeness or wholeness.
Dreams can use any one of these meanings, or a combination of several meanings, for the Mandela. Dreaming of a Mandela or seeing a Mandela in your dreams, is often seen as a spiritual yearning, or as a greater enlightenment.
It is important to know that archetypes such as the animus and the Mandela are universal in nature, showing up again and again in religions and mythologies around the world and across the time. Their universal nature if one of the things that gives them such power and influence, both in the world of dream interpretation and in the waking world.
Even so, it is important to note that the appearance of these symbols in dreams can have very different meanings and interpretations for each individual dreamer. Even thought the symbols are universal, each individual is unique, and personal experience plays a large role in making each individual dream symbol unique as well.
By Russ Lie
This article will examine several important prototypes encountered in dream interpretation. The first of these archetypes is the animus.
The animus is a term used by psychologist Carl Jung to represent the masculine side of the female. Jung felt that women possessed a unconscious masculine imprint, and he called this imprint the animus.
Women become familiar with the nature of the animus through a constant questioning of ideas and opinions, and of gender roles and identity. When coming to terms with her masculine side, the woman learns to criticize her opinions and hold them at a distance. This does not mean repressing those opinions; it simply means investigating where they come from, and delving more deeply into their background.
Dream interpretation can often be a big help in discovering the masculine side of a woman, and the woman who dreams of being a man is often exploring her masculine nature.
According to Jung, women go through four stages of development when exploring and discovering their animus. In stage one, he animus may appear in dreams, and he may represent the ultimate embodiment of physical power. Thus the animus may appear as an athlete, a highly muscular man, or even as a criminal or thug.
In stage two, the animus gives the woman the initiative and the ability to take action. Women in this stage are often ready to take on careers and lives of their own, apart from their family and other role models.
In stage three of the development process, the animus may be seen in dreams as a clergyman, professor or other authority figure. During this stage, the animus represents knowledge and wisdom.
In the final stage, the animus comes to represent spirituality and deeper meaning. During this stage, the animus moves back and forth between the conscious and unconscious mind, still appearing frequently in dreams but appearing in the waking world as well.
The other popular dream archetype is the Mandela. A Mandela can be either a complex or a simple geometric design or pattern, usually in the form of a circle. Mandelas are frequently seen in Native American ceremonies, and they make up a big part of the religious experiences of many Native American and indigenous peoples around the world.
The Mandela also figures prominently in Eastern religions, and it is used to represent the universe in both the Hindu and Buddhist traditions. In Jungian philosophy the Mandela is the symbol for the self. The Mandela is also used to symbolize the circle of life, completeness or wholeness.
Dreams can use any one of these meanings, or a combination of several meanings, for the Mandela. Dreaming of a Mandela or seeing a Mandela in your dreams, is often seen as a spiritual yearning, or as a greater enlightenment.
It is important to know that archetypes such as the animus and the Mandela are universal in nature, showing up again and again in religions and mythologies around the world and across the time. Their universal nature if one of the things that gives them such power and influence, both in the world of dream interpretation and in the waking world.
Even so, it is important to note that the appearance of these symbols in dreams can have very different meanings and interpretations for each individual dreamer. Even thought the symbols are universal, each individual is unique, and personal experience plays a large role in making each individual dream symbol unique as well.
By Russ Lie
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Building Your Self-Confidence at Work
Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?
First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.
Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).
Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem.
You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.
Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.
When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior.
In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.
It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house.
Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.
Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.
Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.
By Russ Lie
First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake.
Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).
Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem.
You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers.
Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.
When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior.
In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.
It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house.
Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.
Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results.
Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.
By Russ Lie
How To Build Your Self Confidence
Learn to accept yourself
The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.
This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.
Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.
Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.
However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.
The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.
Find your flock
Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.
Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.
Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.
The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.
By Russ Lie
The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack.
This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.
Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!
How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment.
Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it.
However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart.
The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.
Find your flock
Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural.
Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.
Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step.
The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.
By Russ Lie
Tips for Encouraging Self Confidence in Girls
Numerous studies show that girls' self-esteem and self-confidence tends to plummet after about age nine as girls enter puberty. Is there any way to promote and increase self esteem and confidence during the earlier years to help pave the way for this important transitional time? The good news is yes, there are things that can be done. Some of them you already know, but a few reminders can't hurt.
For one, limit television. Yes, we've all heard it before, and it's easier said than done, particularly when there are a number of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and advertising can have a negative affect on viewers. Beginning at very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle. While we can't blame the media for everything, we can acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our children's self esteem and confidence.
Children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have problems with body image later in life. Ongoing messages that things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings of low self worth if a child doesn't have the right things. As children age, the "things" can change into a perfect body, and not having the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.
Provide positive role models. As girls age, they become increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it "sideways" show girls that it's not okay to be angry, stand up for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings. Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence.
Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders and substance abuse. Unfortunately, many women never learned how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own sake, but for those of your children.
Encourage learning and education. Some studies show that girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. It's also important to encourage learning in math and science. While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas.
Encouragement in these learning areas cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology. Of course, this isn't to say that other areas of learning are less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.
Help young girls try new things and discover their talents. Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection. On the other hand, when girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.
Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and confidence.
By Russ Lie
For one, limit television. Yes, we've all heard it before, and it's easier said than done, particularly when there are a number of things to be done. However, studies show that programming and advertising can have a negative affect on viewers. Beginning at very young ages, shows geared toward children are mixed with many advertising messages, some subtle, and some not so subtle. While we can't blame the media for everything, we can acknowledge that too much television may negatively affect our children's self esteem and confidence.
Children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, for example, may have problems with body image later in life. Ongoing messages that things are the solutions to problems only exaggerates feelings of low self worth if a child doesn't have the right things. As children age, the "things" can change into a perfect body, and not having the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.
Provide positive role models. As girls age, they become increasingly aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations. Women who stuff their anger or express it "sideways" show girls that it's not okay to be angry, stand up for oneself, and be open and honest about their feelings. Young girls learn from this behavior, and internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence.
Depression increases, and unexpressed anger can come out in very self-destructive ways, including eating disorders and substance abuse. Unfortunately, many women never learned how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner, because they themselves did not have positive role models. If this is an issue, consider seeking professional help, not only for your own sake, but for those of your children.
Encourage learning and education. Some studies show that girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teens. The more girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. It's also important to encourage learning in math and science. While this is improving, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas.
Encouragement in these learning areas cannot only promote increased self-confidence, but it can also prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology. Of course, this isn't to say that other areas of learning are less important; only that encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal.
Help young girls try new things and discover their talents. Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection. On the other hand, when girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, this gives the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.
Helping your children develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. They will face struggles, and parents and others need to help them figure out ways of dealing with tough times. But as you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and confidence.
By Russ Lie
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